One of these involves normalising men’s masturbation and orgasm, but shrouding women’s sexual pleasure in shame and silence. We pretend that the female orgasm is an elusive mystery, constantly highlighting how difficult it is to achieve, how some types of orgasm aren’t “legitimate” – and we are still reluctant to acknowledge that women masturbate. This trope that claims men masturbating is natural and healthy but women masturbating is somehow odd, unnatural and sexually deviant is based in misogynistic ideas of gender and sexuality. These damaging stereotypes also limit the types of sexual pleasure that women should have. In porn, partnered sex often involves men masturbating to orgasm in front of their partner, and the lesson we absorb is that men deserve to orgasm, no matter who gets them there.

Source: The Irish Times January 21, 2018 06:56 UTC