A spokesmicrowave from Trump Tower’s 12th floor held a press conference today, celebrating House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes’ findings that he saw no evidence that then-President Obama wiretapped Trump Towers to spy on then-presidential candidate Donald Trump. “Beep, beep, beep,” said the microwave in three equally spaced notes. It said nothing more, then gave a longer, more sustained beep until a reporter opened its door. A human source close to the microwaves told HuffPost Comedy that “after all the drama, they’d like to take a long, three- to five-minute vacation, depending on their wattage. Maybe get wiped down with a damp paper towel.”

Source: Huffington Post March 15, 2017 20:02 UTC