I hear couples talk about money by casting one partner as the obstacle — the wife wants a vacation, the husband wants a car — instead of noting that life itself presents obstacles. Financial decisions need to take into account the other person’s thoughts, which are often in conflict with one’s own. But if couples are going to collaborate, they have to figure out how to have a productive conversation. What will matter most in marriage is what’s possible on the other side of love’s first blush: conversations that are rewarding, intimate and real. A wedding is a one-shot celebration of tying the knot, but marriage is an open-ended practice of disentangling misunderstandings.

Source: New York Times January 12, 2018 21:04 UTC