“When we study people who have great sex over the long-term in a relationship, they do not describe spontaneous desire as a characteristic,” she said. When the clinical psychologists Peggy Kleinplatz and A. Dana Menard conducted a study for their book “Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers,” they found that the components of great sex were consistent across gender, sexuality and a host of other descriptors and tastes. Great sex, they found, doesn’t just happen. Because while you can’t plan on great sex, you can, as Dr. Kleinplatz and Dr. Menard put it in their book, “intentionally create the conditions in which the magic might occur.”Pursue novelty. If these conversations are awkward for you, she recommended engaging a therapist specializing in sex.

Source: New York Times December 27, 2020 03:56 UTC