LOADING ERROR LOADINGYou might’ve heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as depicted in the Bible’s Book of Revelation. It’s a concept developed by psychologists John and Julie Gottman to describe four communication patterns that can quietly ― and sometimes not so quietly ― erode a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. “Couples actually lived in an apartment for a predetermined amount of time where researchers would observe them, and what they tended to find were the strongest predictors of dissolution were those four horsemen ― criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling,” said M.L. “Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling are learned behaviors. Criticism attacks the person’s character, whereas helpful feedback shares why the specific, changeable behavior is unacceptable.”Vladimir Vladimirov via Getty Images The Gottman Institute's Four Horsemen of Divorce are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.

Source: Huffington Post December 22, 2025 17:54 UTC