Move on!”The expectation that one should find closure a year after suffering major losses is commonplace. Losses and the grief that ensues are often trivialized by others, an experience the mental-health counselor Kenneth J. Doka calls “disenfranchised grief.” For example, women who are flooded with sorrow after suffering miscarriages frequently have their suffering dismissed by their obstetricians, who claim that miscarriages are par for the course. Early theories about grief suggested that full recovery from significant losses was the optimal and attainable endpoint. Sigmund Freud’s formula for a healthy grief response promoted closure by detaching from the deceased person or other losses. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — imply that one can successfully recover by journeying through her five stages step-by-step.
